Choose from 25 ridiculous carriers across 5 speed tiers. All shipping is imaginary.
| Carrier | Est. Delivery | Speed Tier | Cost |
|---|---|---|---|
| 🚀 Space Laser Shipping | 0.003 seconds | Instant | ₵999 |
| 🦄 Unicorn Premium Shipping+ | Over the rainbow | Express | ₵399 |
| 🐉 Dragon Air Cargo | 1 dragon flight | Express | ₵249 |
| 🧙 WizardPost | 1–2 business spells | Express | ₵199 |
| 🦆 Duck Express Logistics | 3–5 business ducks | Standard | ₵49 |
| 🐧 Penguin Polar Express | 4–6 Antarctic waddles | Standard | ₵55 |
| 🦥 Sloth Priority Shipping | 6–18 months | Economy | ₵1 |
| 🐌 TurboSnail Express | Eventually. Probably. | Economy | ₵5 |
| 🎲 Quantum Parcel Solutions | Superposition of all times | Mystery | ₵137 |
| 🕳️ Black Hole Express | Time is meaningless here | Mystery | ₵666 |
Showing 10 of 25 carriers. All carriers available at checkout.
All orders qualify for free imaginary standard shipping with any carrier in the Standard or Economy tier. FastShip delivery is available on all orders regardless of size. Because none of it is real, weight and dimensions don't affect shipping costs.